Mommy's Dirty Little Secret

Dirty Little Secret #113

2011-05-20T11:28:00.003-05:00

I'm no better at cleaning this place than I was two years ago when I quit this blog AND my day job.Awesome.In the meantime, I've been busy at keeping myself busy. Today, however, I'm going to tackle that floor. If the Rapture really is imminent, I don't want Jesus stepping on any stray Legos.

Dirty Little Secret #112

2008-11-13T19:36:00.006-05:00

I never told my best friend about this blog.So today, given that I outed myself by directing her to an article on which I had previously commented, I need to apologize. Thankfully, she took it well. She even read the whole thing. Who else has done that, I wonder? It can't be many.Fearing that she won't have time to keep it up, she tells me that she won't start her own blog. In her own words, "I

Dirty Little Secret #111

2008-11-05T10:34:00.003-05:00

Race mattered to me in this election.While clearly I vote for the Democratic ticket for many, many other reasons, I was excited to have the opportunity to vote for a person who did not look like me. I was chastised for this by a few. One friend belittled my assertion that it mattered by accusing me of falling victim to "heartbreak drama politics."But I told her that I was voting for my children

Dirty Little Secret #110

2008-11-03T10:07:00.004-05:00

I wish that I had it in me to be like Elizabeth and Heather.I wish that I could agree to just leave politics out of it.But I can't. On Wednesday morning, I need to wake up to a new world order. I need it, like I need water. Like I need air.I don't judge anyone for choosing to vote for John McCain. Tammy? I get that. She has conviction. She believes. And while I don't agree, I get that.(But our

Wordless Wednesday

2008-10-08T09:43:00.002-05:00

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Wordless Wednesday

2008-08-13T12:31:00.002-05:00

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Dirty Little Secret #109

2008-08-06T16:39:00.000-05:00

I didn't start sewing for Henry until 6 o'clock this morning. You see, I have this thing about sewing for babies whom I know are coming. It makes me nervous, and my sister, your beloved Mrs. Chicken, has had such a tough time these past few weeks and months that I didn't want to take any chances on superstitious matters.But she did mention to me recently that she was not feeling the love: "Shaggy

Dirty Little Secret #108

2008-05-30T21:11:00.004-05:00

I fear disaster.In London and New York it was terrorists. Much scarier than that, in Minnesota it was tornadoes. Nothing strikes fear into my heart like the sound of the tornado siren. The neighbors would stand outside and watch, hopefully, while I cowered with the children, the cat, the dog, the tortoise, and the weather radio in my split-level's basement bathroom. And it wasn't even a real

Dirty Little Secrets #106 & #107

2008-05-26T21:30:00.002-05:00

106) Sometimes I take stupid online tests.107) I was truly delighted with the results. When I was little, I loved this guy. It made me very upset that he couldn't be seen by others. And it's not a half-bad description of me. Your Score: SnuffleupagusYou scored 50% Organization, 50% abstract, and 61% extroverted!This test measured 3 variables. First, this test measured how

Wordless Wednesday

2008-04-09T15:34:00.001-05:00

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Dirty Little Secret #103 - #105

2008-04-07T12:13:00.004-05:00

103) I just ate a twinkie.A bona fide Hostess Twinkie.It wasn't good. But it was satisfying.104) I'm terrible at responding to memes. But my sister requests that I do this.Here are the rules:Pick up the nearest book of at least 123 pages.Open the book to page 123.Find the 5th sentence.Post the next 3 sentences.Tag 5 people.I am reading The Pillars of the Earth, by Ken Follett. I read it in high

Wordless Wednesday

2008-04-02T14:03:00.003-05:00

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Vernal Equinox for Wordless Wednesday

2008-03-26T09:45:00.003-05:00

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Dirty Little Secrets #101 & #102

2008-03-23T11:25:00.004-05:00

101) Today, the children can eat as much as they'd like from their Easter baskets.Tomorrow, I will put them away and dole out the pieces: one each day.102) About a month from now, I will systematically begin eating my through whatever remains.

Wordless Wednesday

2008-03-19T11:08:00.005-05:00

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Dirty Little Secret #100

2008-03-16T08:49:00.005-05:00

The boy who broke my heart is one of my Flickr contacts.This, in itself, isn't all that newsworthy. While it's true that he and I avoided contact for many years, I believe that the people who were important in your past were important for a reason. Dirk and I have always kept in touch with our old flames. The woman from Wellesley he dated for three years? We attended her wedding and she attended

Wordless Wednesday

2008-03-12T07:49:00.005-05:00

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Dirty Little Secret #99

2008-03-07T08:06:00.006-05:00

I am proud.In spite of our periodic difficulties, Lizzy really is starting to read and write.

Dirty Little Secret #98

2008-03-06T10:22:00.006-05:00

I ruined the jam bars.I was so anxious to eat their sweet oatey goodness, that I dumped the whole bowl of sugar, butter and oat mixture right into the good ol' 9 X 13, coated them with jam, and slammed the oven door behind them.Of course, the recipe outlines that one should calmly spread HALF of the sweet oatey goodness in the bottom of the pan, then serenely add a restrained layer of jam, and

Dirty Little Secret #97

2008-03-05T08:05:00.003-05:00

I don't mind the weather.Sure, it's March. Sure, in Atlanta and all other points south it's heading into the seventies. Sure, it's snowing here.But really, there's something to snow and cold. After our stint in Minnesota, this is nothing. I laugh at twenty degrees and send my children out to play. I'll put on my own snowpants and hat to throw snowballs at the dog with them. When we've searched

Dirty Little Secret #96

2008-02-28T13:57:00.003-05:00

I am addicted to Flickr.

Dirty Little Secret #95

2008-02-26T23:06:00.004-05:00

When Lizzy told me that she did not want to watch Little Bear, my heart nearly broke.My baby has gotten so big. I find myself telling her stories about "when she was little." At just six, I know that she is still little.But she's not. She likes High School Musical and Barbies. She rides the school bus home with her friends. She counts to one hundred. And she doesn't want to watch Little Bear

Dirty Little Secrets #91 - #94

2008-02-23T15:17:00.005-05:00

91) I want to eat chocolate bars all day.92) I do not exercise regularly anymore.93) I want to sit on my bed all day and play on Flickr and Bloglines.94) I can't make those three secrets add up to a healthy me. And that makes me want to say, "Poo."Ed. to add: I ate two Hershey's Kisses, a small 100,00 Bar left over from Halloween, and a snack-size Kit-Kat. I feel better.

Dirty Little Secrets #86 - #90

2008-02-21T15:44:00.008-05:00

#86) Teddy has only one friend. It's all he needs, he tells me. The other sweet-cheeked kids at his preschool hanker for his attention - "Teddy!" they cry, when he walks into the classroom. But Teddy has eyes for only one little boy. "My friend is W. I only have W.," he tells me.Sometimes his conviction about needing only one friend is so strong that he pushes aside the advances of his classmates

Wordless Wednesday

2008-02-20T07:20:00.004-05:00

Rockets Exhaust Me, 4:12 PM.For more Wordless Wednesday, click here.

Dirty Little Secret #85

2008-02-15T20:08:00.003-05:00

"TEDDY! Mommy is going to put your blankie away FOREVER! Stop touching your sister!"After yelling this is in the direction of the other room, I heard nothing but the sweet sound of silence. When a grown Ted tells his therapist that he can't commit to a relationship because he fears losing that which is precious to him, then I will fully accept the blame.

Wordless Wednesday

2008-01-30T10:02:00.001-05:00

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Dirty Little Secret #84

2008-01-29T09:33:00.000-05:00

I'm not voting for Hillary Clinton on Super Tuesday. I don't want to support a candidate for President just because she is a woman. I consider myself a feminist, and I am joyous beyond all reason that there is a viable female candidate for President in my lifetime. I did not think that there would be. If she is the Democratic nominee, then I will support her with everything that I have.But I

Dirty Little Secret #83

2008-01-23T15:50:00.000-05:00

It makes me crazy that Lizzy can't read yet.It's difficult to keep typing after committing that sentence to paper...or, um, my computer screen. That sentence is loaded with equal parts guilt, frustration, and bewilderment.I have mostly avoided the process of teaching her outright. If you know Lizzy and you know me, then you know that THAT would be a mistake. Lizzy generally refuses to partake in

Dirty Little Secret #82 - for Wordless Wednesday

2008-01-16T21:00:00.001-05:00

I am longing for summer.Indian Neck Beach, Wellfleet, MA. August 2005.For more Wordless Wednesday, click here.

Dirty Little Secret #81

2008-01-10T16:52:00.000-05:00

I just sat down on my bed, and turned on Oprah.Seven years ago, when I went slightly crazy and quit my teaching job mid-year, I spent a fair amount of my first few unemployed weeks sitting on the couch and watching TV. But not, Oprah. Usually Behind the Music.Newly married, I wasn't yet pregnant with Lizzy and I was a little gun-shy to go out and get myself a new job. You know, because of my

Dirty Little Secret #80

2008-01-06T08:05:00.000-05:00

I get my hair cut only once or twice a year. My last haircut was in November 2006. It was a perfect blend of bob and choppy ends, designed to grow out well. I do my stylists - whom I choose by availability - the favor of letting them know that I won't be back for at least six months. It lasted until about mid-April, when my fine, stringy, straight strands began to get in my face. I've been

Wordless Wednesday

2008-01-01T23:03:00.000-05:00

Dirty Little Secret #79

2007-12-30T10:23:00.000-05:00

The milk is bad.So I had a banana, a gingerbread cookie, and the remainder of the left-over rice pudding for breakfast.Since 2008 will be the year of Healthy Eating in my house, I'll have to go to Wegmans to procure the milk so that I can return to my normal 1 cup serving of high-protein, high-fiber organic cereal. Which, by the way, tastes better than you might think.Maybe I should save some of

Wordless Wednesday

2007-12-26T11:41:00.000-05:00

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Dirty Little Secret #78

2007-12-21T17:44:00.000-05:00

Almost 20 years later, I remember listening to the details come in on Radio 1, while eating salt and vinegar Smith’s crisps. I had been made to clean my room late that afternoon, and I was sitting on my bed reading a book. It was dark; cabs rushed by the brownstone at street level, three stories below me. News drifted in of a plane that had crashed, a 747 out from Heathrow, bound for Scotland.

Dirty Little Secret #76 & #77

2007-12-11T22:03:00.000-05:00

#76) In 2007, we haven’t changed a bit.When asked, “how are you?” I’m often faced with the stunning realization that we’re riding on an even keel. There’s school and work and sewing. There’s a lawn to be mowed and a dog to be walked. So we’re well, I say. We’re just fine. And we are.This is our first full year riding out the status quo. In the past five years we’ve experienced births, deaths, job

Dirty Little Secret #75

2007-11-28T23:08:00.000-05:00

My children each have their own Leapster.I am by no means a Luddite (who, incidentally, destroyed sewing machines...). Or a sanctimommy. We eat our share of processed foods and plenty of our toys have lights and bells and whistles.However, after reading this article, I am glad that my Christmas shopping included this:and this:But keep in mind, my kids each have their own Leapster.

Dirty Little Secret #74

2007-11-21T08:27:00.000-05:00

I can't bake the Thanksgiving pies ahead of time.It would make sense to do some of the work today, wouldn't it?But I would start by just nibbling at the caramel-y drippings of cherry overflowing out of the flaky crust. Then I would pick at the crumbly, sugarey goodness of the top of the apple pie. I would move on around 4 pm to snapping off the irregular edges of the pumpkin pie crust, just to

Dirty Little Secret #73

2007-09-11T06:11:00.000-05:00

I get anxious in September.Years past, it was about school - that delicious nervous planning for the first day of school. I felt the same way when I was a teacher.By September 2001, I had quit my teaching job. I was miserable there and six months pregnant with Lizzy, to boot. And so I was anxious: about the future, about our finances, about parenthood. How would we survive in Manhattan with a

Dirty Little Secrets #71 & #72

2007-09-06T08:41:00.000-05:00

#71) This is my favorite photo from Lizzy's first day of kindergarten.#72) I was the only parent who forgot to pack a snack. Luckily, the teacher had animal crackers.

Dirty Little Secret #70, for Wordless Wednesday

2007-08-29T07:55:00.000-05:00

My husband should not be allowed to use the camera.See more Wordless Wednesday here.

Dirty Little Secrets #69 & #70

2007-08-25T16:25:00.001-05:00

#69) I cry every day.Three years ago today it started with great, gulping breathless sobs. My brother hugged me. He shook his head in sorrow and said, "This isn't supposed to happen to people like us." I suppose he meant that we, as upper-class, well-educated fortunates should be shielded from the oddly anti-septic experience of a messy emergency room death.I briefly snapped out of my

Dirty Little Secret #68

2007-08-25T10:32:00.000-05:00

I want to eat these. Now.Photo by Amy.

Dirty Little Secret #67

2007-08-15T15:11:00.000-05:00

I hate potty training. Below, find an open letter I've addressed to poop, first published on Much More Than a Mom, in November, 2006 as part of the monthly blog exchange.Dear Poop – The first thing that I would like to tell you is that it’s me. Really. Not you. You’ve never claimed to be more than you are. You’ve always lived up to your promises. I can count on you, everyday. Four of five times a

Dirty Little Secrets #61 - #66

2007-07-09T19:10:00.000-05:00

I spent the weekend recalling the days of my misspent youth.#61) I was a teenage drama queen. Literally, in the sense that I longed to star in the high school musical. I wore pearls. And pleated skirts with cabled tights. My hair and nails were coiffed.And then there were the boys. From the time I was fourteen, there were always boys. The boy who was a sloppy kisser. The ne'er-do-well turned into

Dirty Little Secret #60

2007-05-23T09:10:00.000-05:00

I speak truth to power.Me: (listening to children squabble across the hall while tidying my bedroom) If you two don't stop arguing Mommy's head is going to explode.Lizzy: Okay!

No Secret

2007-05-21T16:47:00.000-05:00

I believe in single-sex education.

Dirty Little Secrets #58 & #59

2007-05-20T11:28:00.000-05:00

58) I am a poor housekeeper. Years of rigorous dusting, vacuuming, and bathroom scrubbing under my mother's watchful eyes did little to train me to maintain my own household. Don't get me wrong - I don't like to be dirty. I don't like living in filth and squalor. But the whole endless routine of cook, clean up, start-it-all-over-again just gets the best of me. I can stand one morning a week of

Dirty Little Secrets #52 - #57

2007-05-17T21:13:00.000-05:00

52) I read blogs. I don't comment - even on the blogs of my friends. I don't write blog entries, either. That's Mrs. Chicken's department: she's the writer. But I think about my secrets. I think a lot about writing them down. But I don't.53) I enjoyed our recent trip to Disney World. Now, don't get me wrong, I firmly believe that Mickey is a tool of the patriarchy and a capitalist pig. But once

Dirty Little Secrets #50 & #51

2007-04-05T07:25:00.000-05:00

My sister and I have vastly different personalities and my family has a theme song.Seemingly unrelated, no? Let me recount the following conversation so that you understand.Mrs. Chicken: (having just received news of a fabulous freelance writing assignment) I got the job!Karen: (uttering various and sundry forms of congratulations) What did Channing say?Mrs. Chicken: He said, "that's great," and

Go Read This Blog

2007-02-14T06:38:00.000-05:00

I found this via Rebecca.Visit. Leave a virtual Valentine.

Dirty Little Secret #48

2007-02-06T08:38:00.000-05:00

I feel cheated.That's my dad. I rarely called him that - he was always Daddy. Although after Lizzy was born, he became Grandpa. He loved the sound of that word, and even though he only 52 when she was born, he was the consummate grandpa. Still in the process of archiving, I found this clip yesterday. Taken in late August, 2002, at the annual Art Show in Orleans, MA, an 8 month old Lizzy is in

Dirty Little Secret #47

2007-02-03T17:08:00.000-05:00

While watching my daughter dance, I nearly wept with joy.I struggled with the issue of wanting to give her the opportunity to try out a traditionally girly activity and wanting to eschew the subculture that comes with it. Luckily, the yellow pages yielded The Little Gym. I'm not one to plug a product (unless it's Hob Nobs), but this place is philosophically right up my alley. The recital took

Dirty Little Secret #46

2007-01-31T21:20:00.000-05:00

I need a Hob Nob.We lived in England in the late 1980s, and I became addicted to this oaty and chocolatey treat. But not the plain chocolate variety. Oh no, it's the milk chocolate for me.You see, it's a rare night that both my children are actually in their beds and ASLEEP by 9:15. I should be all a gang-busters sewing, but instead I am idly surfing my favorite blogs and drooling a little. Not

Mo Crackers is Having a Contest

2007-01-28T16:43:00.000-05:00

***Edited***See here for details. I won't be entering, as I am too far post-partum to remember all the stupid things we did to each other when our babies were born. My sister comments that "I can't believe you can't remember all the stupid things Dirk did. You're covering so you look superior!" But really, it's just that my husband is so often stupid and I are so often stupid to one another that

Dirty Little Secret #45

2007-01-19T10:22:00.000-05:00

I am not afraid of Mo Crackers.To be continued...

Red

2006-12-01T07:19:00.000-05:00

the red list-red head red eye red beard red storm red sea red grange red buttons red white &blue read (i know it’s only a homonym) you like a book red light red ass seeing red red tape red cross red crescent red alert red flag redline red planet red tide redman red card reds red army red friday red ribbon red blood cell

Proud

2006-11-27T08:01:00.001-05:00

My sister is the Crazy Hip Blog Mamas' Mother of the Week. In the past six months, I have watched her find some peace. She's a different Mrs. Chicken altogether. I'm going to assume that most people who read my blog also read Chicken and Cheese. But if you don't, please go help her celebrate the most horrible time of the year.

Thankful

2006-11-24T11:52:00.000-05:00

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Me and My Friend Tater

2006-11-22T23:36:00.000-05:00

I took a personality test. Apparently I am entertaining. And the polar opposite of my sister. ESFP - "Entertainer". Radiates attractive warmth and optimism. Smooth, witty, charming, clever. Fun to be with. Very generous. 8.5% of the total population. But I am just like Tater. I knew that I liked this woman.Take the test here.

Dirty Little Secret #44

2006-11-21T17:33:00.000-05:00

I just waxed my face. At home.I'd keep it a secret, but the little tiny wax strips that so beautifully altered my upper lip and eyebrows left those same spots puffy and red. The ready-to-use face wax strips were, indeed, ready to use. And simple. And did I mention oh-so-painful?It's come to a pretty pass. I've spent some time boasting here about my blatant disregard for societal norms of female

Dirty Little Secret #43

2006-11-18T17:37:00.000-05:00

I wore these shoes last night.Dirk took one look at me and declared that we'd be in the emergency room with a broken ankle by the end of the evening.My parents were standards on the invitation list for the philanthropic cicuit in our small city. My mother is still invited to these events and Mr. and Mrs. Chicken were her favored companions. We've replaced them, and I find I am lacking the proper

Dirty Little Secret #42

2006-11-17T08:16:00.000-05:00

This is what I would look like as a South Park character:I made it myself, courtesy of HBM.I'm not sure that if you took a look at me, in person, you would think that this image accurately represents me. But it's how I feel. A little bit frazzled.A little bit frumpy.Trying a little too hard to look like I have it together.The pearls were an afterthought. I certainly don't parade around in my

Dirty Little Secret #41

2006-11-15T22:52:00.000-05:00

I made a dress for Lizzy today.It isn’t the first dress hand-crafted for the girl who refused to wear them between the ages of eighteen months and four years. I made a few sweet things for her when she was a baby, before she could argue with me about what she would or would not wear. As she grew older, and more willful, she became the anti-clotheshorse.I delighted in it.There were occasions when

Dirty Little Secret #40

2006-11-13T21:36:00.000-05:00

I am often cranky.Cranky without reason. Cranky without regard to your age or station in life. Cranky so that my bones ache and my head hurts.In the late afternoon it creeps up on me and seizes my heart, shrinking it three sizes. I furrow my brow. I scold little girls. I curse the gods for bestowing upon me the responsibility of cooking dinner. I bang pots. And pans. I long to be alone.Its been

Dirty Little Secret #39

2006-11-12T07:59:00.000-05:00

I am ill-prepared for the inevitable.Lizzy jumped out of bed early a few weeks ago. "Look! My tooth wiggles!"Dirk stopped tying his tie and looked at me. "Your tooth wiggles? Can I see?" We exhanged worried glances. Lizzy won't turn five until December, and we both felt that this was too young to lose her first tooth. My heart fell as he said, "You'll have to call the dentist."Since we're still "

Dirty Little Secret #38

2006-11-10T23:23:00.000-05:00

My blog is not a secret.Technically, it never was. There was always Amy, and we have been linked together in this blogosphere since the inception of CAC and my collection of dirty secrets. This blog has never been exactly what I intended it to be; initially I thought that I would incite controversy amongst the mommies by confessing such gems as “I don’t buy organic milk." Along the way, if other

Dirty Little Secret #37

2006-11-09T23:13:00.000-05:00

I am quite fond of myself. Being the arrogant bugger that I am, it took a while to narrow this down. Behold, Ten Things I Like About Me.1) I am smart. Very, very smart. Smarter than most, too smart for my own good, smarter than you. So there.2) I am confident. Perhaps overly so.3) I have high expectations. Of everyone.4) I call a spade, a spade.5) I hold myself to the same high standards to which

Dirty Little Secret #36

2006-11-08T23:14:00.000-05:00

There are a few areas in my life that could stand some improvement. So without further ado, here are Ten Things I Hate About Me, courtesy of Sandy, via Heather.1) I procrastinate. Three weeks ago, a local boutique ordered a large number of items. They are due to be delivered tomorrow, and I am writing a blog post in lieu of finishing them.2) I am a snob. Trust me, as we speak I am assessing your

Dirty Little Secret #35

2006-11-07T22:08:00.000-05:00

I care deeply about politics.And we are victorious. Here and here and here and here. And oh joy, here and here!Those of you defeated, know this: karma is a bitch.

The Truth About Last Night and Dirty Little Secret #34

2006-11-06T21:25:00.000-05:00

Before I reveal my secret, I'll reveal the truth.Dirk did write the entry posted last night. I logged into Blogger, and then stepped away to stop my children from killing one another. When I came back to my office, Dirk was furtively typing away with two fingers. I read, I laughed, and I hit the publish button.But the conversation he presented did not actually happen. Earlier in the evening, I

I Let My Husband Write This Post

2006-11-05T20:20:00.000-05:00

I ate too much candy. I then asked my husband if I was fat. Now, he is taking the candy to work. What was his answer?

Dirty Little Secret #33

2006-11-04T22:03:00.000-05:00

Over the past four days, I consumed an entire bag of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. By myself.I suppose I might feel disgusted with myself, and slightly guilty. But I've decided to chuck all that in favor of letting the self-soothing - if slightly despicable - ritual bring me closer to my dead father.Yes. That same dead father whose specter can't be shaken. He loved Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. My

Dirty Little Secret #32

2006-11-03T17:15:00.000-05:00

I don't like whiners.I am well on my way to becoming one. Here is a list of the things about which I would like to whine:My children fight like cats and dogs.My daughter cries at the drop of a hat; I informed today that if she doesn't stop crying in dance class that her lessons will be cancelled. She likes dance class; she begs to go. If she can't complete the small and well-spotted tasks

Dirty Little Secret #31

2006-11-02T13:48:00.000-05:00

I've turned to herbal tea.You see, printed on the back of my lemon-flavored Lipton tea bag was this promise:HERBAL TEA: INSTRESS: OUTPlease, O Gods of Child-Rearing - please make this come true.

An Open Letter to Cancer

2006-11-01T07:38:00.000-05:00

Let me begin by saying how much I hate you. Words cannot express the depth of my loathing. That fact alone shortens the length of this letter.Statistics indicate that you will invade the bodies of half of all men and one-third of all women in North America over the course of their lifetimes. One in four Canadians will likely die of cancer.Our normal cells grow, divide, and die - just as they

Dirty Little Secret #30

2006-10-11T15:35:00.000-05:00

I'm freaking out a little.I miss Manhattan, desperately sometimes. Its smell. Its weather. The miles and miles I used to walk behind my stroller. The people and the food.But sometimes I still have very bad dreams. And sometimes I have trouble getting on airplanes, even through I seem to be on one every six to eight weeks. And that plane crashed today in my old neighborhood. Those buildings are

Babies On Demand ? Should We Accept It As A Sign Of The Times?

2006-09-30T21:31:00.000-05:00

Everyone in Hollywood is doing it: Britney, Posh Spice, Madonna,Gwyneth Paltrow. They have all made arrangements for unnecessaryscheduled cesarean sections to bring their children into the world.Are these women so important, so busy? Are their lives and schedules sostrictly regulated and planned out that they were simply unable to letnature take its course, instead opting to put themselves and

Dirty Little Secret #29

2006-09-25T23:01:00.000-05:00

I sewed through my finger last Christmas. Every year that I have operated my own business, I have doubled in size. We're still talking small peanuts here, people, but I do find that my work load increases exponentially. Last December was the first time I felt like maybe I couldn't do it all on my own: sewing shirts, blankies and burps for all those babies I'll never meet, I stood in my own

Poop and a Cup of Joe

2006-09-21T21:14:00.000-05:00

Like many others before it, the theme of my day was poop mixed with coffee. The major difference was that today that seemingly innocuous combination caused me to dial 911 for the first time ever.My new home is actually quite old. Built sometime between 1899 and 1910, we are only the third owners of this undecided residence. It has the floor plan of a classic American Foursquare with decidedly

Dirty Little Secret # 28

2006-09-14T21:27:00.000-05:00

The bag I carry says a lot about me. In my time I have carried backpacks, beach bags, a very big bag and a very tiny purse. They have ranged from the fanciest of leather to the coarsest of straw. I often too lazy to transfer my necessary items from one receptacle to another, and as a result end up at varying functions with a very inappropriate handbag. I have carried beach bags in February and

Remember

2006-09-10T21:23:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow, I will hang our flag out on my new front porch. It is six feet long and four feet tall. We bought it on September 11, 2001, around 4 pm. We bought it online, taking advantage of a rare open phone line to dial into AOL, and paid for next day shipping. It was the last one in stock - besides the twenty by ten foot model for which my husband lobbied. I warned him that it would cover our

Dirty Little Secrets #19 - #27

2006-09-09T21:49:00.000-05:00

19) I am incredibly frumpy. While my jeans are low-waisted and boot-cut, I am woefully in need of Stacy and Clinton. If only for their $5,000. And instructions on how to buy grown-up, non-frumpy good-looking jeans to fit short legs and double zip-coded rear-end.20) In the mall today I passed a woman in a Cabela's sweatshirt. Few people around me likely knew what it was, but it made me smile.21)

Things Unspoken

2006-08-31T21:15:00.000-05:00

The spacious loft apartment is decorated sparsely, but has obviously been furnished by someone with a excellent eye for design. Serene light blue walls glow slightly in the light of sunset, and soft white couches convey a sense of comfort. Every inch of the space is immaculate -- not a dust bunny or piece of lint inhabits the residence. But the tranquility and elegance of the surroundings

Recently

2006-08-02T23:10:00.000-05:00

Dirty Little Secret #18

2006-07-31T22:23:00.000-05:00

I am overwhelmed.The past five weeks have seen us through two moving trucks, two hotel rooms, two weeks of vacation, two weeks in our new home before taking our first road trip, and two thousand miles driven by car.I am overwhelmed by how hard it was to leave Minnesota - the place I never wanted to live. I am overwhelmed by how it feels, already, that it was only a dream.I am overwhelmed by how

July Blog Exchange: Welcome Kristen!

2006-06-30T23:15:00.000-05:00

This post is part of the July Blog Exchange on the theme "Freedom." Please welcome guest poster Kristen, from Motherhood Uncensored. Of All the Things That I Have Lost… When I made the choice to become a parent, I lost the obvious freedoms. It was sort of like they handed you this cute baby that took you 15 hours to move about one foot from your uterus out your va-jay-jay, and asked for your left

Dirty Little Secret # 17

2006-06-21T00:48:00.000-05:00

I fear our lives will change.Next Friday, my children and I will board a plane bound for Upstate New York. Dirk departs a day earlier, loaded into the station wagon with the dog, the cat, and the desert tortoise. We are leaving Minnesota, with all of Dirk’s medical training finally behind us. We have been waiting for this moment for a long time.And I’m not so sure any more that I want it to

Flag Day

2006-06-14T10:18:00.000-05:00

Dirty Little Secret #16

2006-06-09T17:32:00.000-05:00

I am a nerd.Oh yes - I know my fictional audience finds this extremely hard to believe, but it's true. I am as nerdly as they come. Just yesterday, Amy called me to ask a question about the plot of Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith. What's scary is that she thought I would know the answer. What's scarier is that I did."K, what's a Sith?"I happily commenced telling her all about the Sith, how

Dirty Little Secret #15

2006-06-03T22:58:00.000-05:00

It's 10:00 pm on a Saturday and I'm folding laundry.I couldn't be happier. My life is captivatingly humdrum. Neither mediocre nor unexceptional, just satisfyingly routine. While there are undoubtedly days when I would tear out my hair, I am not conflicted about myself in the role of wife and mother. I am not a cool mom, and I definitely wear a mom uniform. I am not a soccer mom.I'm just mom. Or

June Blog Exchange: Welcome Mrs. Fortune!

2006-06-01T00:33:00.000-05:00

How psyched am I? I signed up for the June Blog Exchange and was fortunate to be paired with Mrs. Fortune! I'm a big fan of hers, so please go check out Mrs. Fortune and Her Cookie...oh, and my post there.**********I am obsessed with names. I blogged about it here and here. Not in a bizarre-o TS Eliot “The Naming of Cats” what-the-hell-is-he-talking-about kind of way, but in a I’m a stickler for

Recently

2006-05-20T23:39:00.000-05:00

Dirty Little Secret #14

2006-05-18T22:10:00.000-05:00

Talking about myself makes me gleeful. That's right folks, it is all about Me. That's meme. This is thanks to my sister.I AM: resilient.I WANT: to be peaceful.I WISH: to be as good a person as I think I am.I HATE: bigots and those who promote intolerance as a family value.I MISS: my daddy.I FEAR: disease. And tornadoes.I HEAR: an internal litany of tasks that I must finish.I WONDER: what I'll be

Dirty Little Secret #13

2006-05-11T22:11:00.000-05:00

I have imaginary friends. Or maybe it's better stated to say, "I know you, but you don't know me...."You see, I am a regular stalker on many of your blogs. I think it's actually called "lurking," but sometimes the ferocity of my cravings for your sights and sounds overwhelms me and an otherworldly force drags me to my computer to refresh my bloglines and escape my own experience for yours.Like a

Dirty Little Secret #12

2006-05-10T08:22:00.000-05:00

Often, I have an amazing lack of focus.If you've been faithfully checking my blog every day, or if you cross your fingers every time you refresh your bloglines page, then I'm afraid that I have disappointed you. (And yes, I'm writing for an audience I know may be fictional. But I was a high-school drama queen, and I still need an audience.) My blog is just another project on which I cannot follow

Yeah, well, my dog can sing...

2006-05-03T22:58:00.000-05:00

Video Hosting - Upload Video - Photo Sharing

Dirty Little Secret #11

2006-05-02T10:39:00.000-05:00

I may need to work on my parenting skills.Yep. That's T. standing on my sofa table. Did I tell him to get down? Nope. I just grabbed my camera. Later that afternoon my well-meaning neighbor pulled me aside in the driveway to say, "I think I saw T. standing up in your front window this morning..."

Occasionally Upset

2006-04-28T23:20:00.000-05:00

I am watching the late-night re-run of Larry King Live. This is my first problem.I should be sewing, but I am tired enough that I keep cutting satin backs for blankies to the wrong size. Lately, I am always a little too tired to perform my assigned tasks with any degree of accuracy. I'm in that place where my plate is a little too full and I feel a little too overwhelmed to balance it with any